Here I go. I think if I write out my stress I might actually have a more productive day...just get it out and move on. Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I'm just going to type whatever I feel like.
This week has been awful and stressful for me. I have been on overload at work which I really don't mind too much because I'd rather that than be bored and I'm thankful that I am being given big jobs to do but by the end of the day I am exhausted. I feel like not only am I doing all these work projects but I am trying to almost overdo them so as to prove that I can so that I can keep getting all of these projects and clients. I can't wait for a week at work with some downtime or a slow day...if there will be such a thing.
Next, I've had multiple spouse events this week and pretty much go straight there from work. Don't get me wrong, spouse dinners and meetings, etc are great and I'd rather be in the loop than out of it but I think I've reached my limit on social time. Its ironic that a few months ago I was craving interaction with others on the base and now I am spread so thin that I haven't even really seen some of my good friends here in over a week. If I didn't have a job then it would be different. I'm sure I would want an event every night but honestly I work a full day (especially this week) and then I go to an event and then I come home late and Jake is already asleep and I have a hyper puppy and a ridiculous load of household chores.
Thats another thing. I miss my husband. Pilot training has taken him away and I want him back! (Remember that this is just a vent. I am actually very thankful for this opportunity he has but its only normal for me to not always love the circumstances it puts us in.) This week is an early week for him. He's been up by 4am every morning this week which means that he needs to go to bed super early and with everything I have going on our schedules just don't seem to match. He has really been wonderful with trying to help me around the house since he knows I am worn out too but he really has no free time during the week. I have never seen him like this, so exhausted and overloaded. He holds it together really well but its easy to see that hes having a hard time with all this training and the schedule. It takes a toll on me to see him like that and know that I can't really help him at all. I haven't even been able to feed him a good dinner with our clashing schedules.
Last night was really frustrating too. I thought it would be my breaking point for the week but I think I was too tired to cry. Somewhere around 1am the craziest storm I have ever seen came through Columbus - I didn't even know storms could be like that. Anyways it woke us up and the whole house was shaking and the bedroom kept lighting up and I swear it was right above our house. Bailey was freaking out and wouldn't stop barking, Jake was pissed because he really needed his sleep so he could be ready to fly today and he was mad at Bailey and mad at everything. I felt so bad for Jake and I knew it was more important for him to sleep so I took Bailey downstairs and let her bark at the thunder until she fell asleep. It lasted for over an hour. Good thing Jake's flight got cancelled today because I'm sure he was too tired to be flying. Anyways, Jake left for work and about 5am the storm started up again and the thunder started rolling which means I was up again. All of that said, I am a very very tired girl today and I'm sure Jake is even more tired but he gets no time at all to even think about being tired because he has a huge test tomorrow on top of preparing for his flights.
On top of all that, Cassie and Andrew come tomorrow and I have yet to start cleaning the house...which REALLY needs to be cleaned. So I will go home from work today and clean and clean and clean. Laundry, dishes, you name it, it needs to be done and it ain't gonna do itself! I'm just so tired that I don't know how its going to actually happen.
With all that said, I have been a ball of stress all week and am hoping and praying that this weekend with Cassie and Andrew will be so fun that I will forget about all this. I can't wait to see them and that alone is sure to cheer me up. I am going to take Friday afternoon and Monday morning off of work so that gives me a nice long weekend to relax and enjoy my company. And if the rain ever stops we will hopefully be going to Great America in Atlanta on Saturday. Its Air Force day and we all get in free :)
Okay...vent over.
Blog Timeline
Here's a little guide to how my life has evolved since this blog first started back in 2008. Looking back now, I've gone through some very distinct and significant chapters. The archives at the bottom follow along accordingly :)
December 2008-July 2010:
Graduating from college, experiencing life as newlyweds, moving to the far-away land of Mississippi, enduring the hectic lifestyle of Air Force pilot training, discovering my passion for web design, and transitioning into life as a real "grown-up".
August 2010- December 2010:
Moving back in with my parents in California while Jake was away at training in Oklahoma, living in a complete state of "limbo", growing my newly launched web design business, and loving life back on the best coast - oops! - I mean west coast ;)
January 2011- March 2012:
Discovering what it's like to have life-altering medical issues, struggling through tragic loss, physical pain, emotional pain, never-ending doctor's appointments and medical tests, all while trying to start our new life at Travis AFB... Learning to trust God even in the darkest times and constantly praying for healing.
April 2012- Present Day:
Experiencing healing from my physical pain, enjoying a career that I absolutely love, making the most wonderful friends here at Travis, and striving to live every single day to the FULLEST. God is so good! John 10:10 - Read it :)
December 2008-July 2010:
Graduating from college, experiencing life as newlyweds, moving to the far-away land of Mississippi, enduring the hectic lifestyle of Air Force pilot training, discovering my passion for web design, and transitioning into life as a real "grown-up".
August 2010- December 2010:
Moving back in with my parents in California while Jake was away at training in Oklahoma, living in a complete state of "limbo", growing my newly launched web design business, and loving life back on the best coast - oops! - I mean west coast ;)
January 2011- March 2012:
Discovering what it's like to have life-altering medical issues, struggling through tragic loss, physical pain, emotional pain, never-ending doctor's appointments and medical tests, all while trying to start our new life at Travis AFB... Learning to trust God even in the darkest times and constantly praying for healing.
April 2012- Present Day:
Experiencing healing from my physical pain, enjoying a career that I absolutely love, making the most wonderful friends here at Travis, and striving to live every single day to the FULLEST. God is so good! John 10:10 - Read it :)
2 comments:
Hang in there. It does get better, but it also definitely helps to vent (especially to people who are going through the same thing). Hope things at work get less stressful too!
I always knew you were the California version of Superwoman but I didn't know there was a Mississippi version too. I know that you are stressed and it seems like you have every right to be, especially with house guests coming (I seem to go clean crazy when anyone comes over for any reason, let alone sleeps over) but I also know that you are always such a champ at challenges. It's hard that every form of a challenge (dog, husband, work, social) has hit at the same time but you are strong and always seem to know what to do. Venting is one of my all time favorite things to do because the relief you feel afterward is priceless. That being said, I promise you will feel better now and that with your skills and strength, the rest of this week will definitely be doable and you will feel so proud of yourself when it is all over. :)
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