My frustration lately is really that I am just so lonely. Its not just because Jake is gone (although that does make it all so much worse) but its that I don't have anyone out here that I can just sit and have a real conversation with. I feel like I am trying so hard to make friends and invest in people's lives here and none of it is going anywhere. I put in so much effort to go do things with the other wives here but its always me being the one initiating it and thats no fun. Talking on the phone to friends and family helps but its not the same as having someone here that I can call to come over and hang out or just go out to eat with. What's worse is that I feel like other wives are starting to pair up in little cliques and I am not in any of them. I seriously feel like I just started Jr. High again or something and am awkwardly trying to fit in. And now that Jake is away, the most interaction I get during the day is not even with a person...its with my dog! That is just sad! I mean I have work everyday but everyone is so busy and always in their own office so we never really talk at all. I am just so lonely. I wish Jake never had to leave because when he is gone I realize that he is the only one I have here and that makes me sad. Am I ever going to find someone out here that I can relate to and become good friends with? I know God is in control here but I have been in Mississippi now for months and still don't really have anyone. My heart has really been aching this week more than ever to go home. I know its only 5 weeks away but that still feels like forever. It just means 5 more weeks of doing the exact same thing everyday, being away from Jake everyday, and being lonely constantly.
I know I'll get over it; I'm just venting. Thanks for listening...
4 comments:
Lindsay,
I will be praying that God brings a really special girl friend into your life. I know how important those friends are and how feeling like you don't have them is discouraging. You are such a fun and sweet person that I can't imagine you not being completely surrounded by millions of friends, but I will keep you in my prayers! I can't wait to see you at the graduation! Are you gonna be around before and after so that maybe we can get lunch or something? I know you're probably really busy, but if you can squeeze in coffee, I would love to hang out!
Sarah
Lindsay,
I felt your sad heart in this vent my goodness! I will pray that you find a friend to hang out with and have movie nights with. If it helps keep venting we are listening :-) I hope this week is better.
I'm so sorry that you are going through exactly what I went through when we first got there as well. Its no fun feeling alone and pretty helpless out in the middle of the weirdest state ever. Plus with Jake gone its even worse!
Hopefully things will pick up for you maybe once you get back from California! It honestly took me close to 6 months to finally feel like I "fit in" with the other wives in my class. It took me way too long to make the effort. At least you are able to work and get off base to help pass the time and do something enjoyable!
I know things will get better! John and I are really missing the simplicity of CAFB and are having moving/living/inprocessing issues out here! Ugh.
Welcome to the Air Force! We will survive and each time I'm sure it will get better!!!
Hugs to you and Bailey!
Lindsay,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. I think we all go through it at some point unfortunately.
I had a really hard time at our first base. I didn't know anyone and Patrick had to leave for ASBC only a few weeks after we moved there. It took me almost six months before I made a close friend.
There are some wonderful people out there, sometimes it just takes time. I'll be praying that you find a great friend. I know it makes things easier.
In the meantime, if you ever need to talk please give me a call! I'm kind of lonely too right now. We're not fully inprocessed so I haven't had a chance to meet anyone out here. I'm in serious need of some girl talk!
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