My mom came with me to Sacramento for my medical test on Thursday (which went really good - totally easy) and we decided that afterwards we'd celebrate Mom's Day a little bit early. We went out to lunch, followed by coffee, dessert, and shopping... Perfect!
It was also a good opportunity for me to give her some fun gifts! I got her a nice teal/blue necklace that was super tempting not to keep for myself haha! And also a fun little wall quote to hang that reads "Mom, the older I get the smarter you become". I've actually had that wall quote since I worked at Papyrus and was saving it to give her for Mother's Day. She loved it and it made me happy to see her so happy :)
And I hate to turn this post into a bit of a downer but I'd be lying if I didn't say that Mother's Day this year wasn't affecting me emotionally since the miscarriage. It often crosses my mind that I would've been only 4 weeks away from my due date and Mother's Day would probably have had a totally different and very special meaning for me.
It started when I was looking at Mother's Day cards and there was a whole section of "mom to be" cards. It brought up feelings in me that I just wasn't expecting. I can't put my finger on how I exactly feel... I'm not really sad about it, I mean it doesn't make me tear up or anything; it's more of just a strange feeling of recognizing how different my life would've been right now and trying to find God's plan in all of it. I think I will feel a huge sense of relief once June 15th comes and goes and I am no longer thinking "I would've been this far along today..."
But I must say that I love having this blog, and being able to write knowing it's a safe place for me to work through these thoughts and feelings. So thanks for listening, friends and family, I love you all so much :)
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